IM ELI! :) MY BLOG MY SAY.

Crying, one of the most basic emotions of human beings. it's normal to cry, when youre sad, or to express what you can't in words. yet as often as i don't cry, whenever i do, it seems to always take a big piece outta me. it feels like a hangover, just without alcohol. it has been a while since i cried as badly as i did last night. (because i did promise myslef that i will not cry as badly as i did when the year started, where i was just balling my eyes out every single night to sleep) yet this, was unexpected. because i never felt that i was hurt, pissed off or tired in anyway. yet when i said everything out ytd, that was when i realised how awfully tired am i of all this bullshit. and for once in my life, i would rather be selfish just to get back the happier me. if i would have been given a choice, i would not even be here. i dun want this.its tearing me apart when i see things in the way they are now and my opinion doesn't even seem to matter anymore. i'm tired. fucking.tired.

Life. well, it's just another series of dance, clubbing, dance, sleep, work and what not. yet the most rewarding thing after dancing for comps, is to see my pictures after wards, and to actually see that, yes there is a possibility of me being this happy. everytime i see a dance photo of me, i'm always smiling brightly. which makes me happy i guess, to see myself enjoying what i do even if i'm not good at it.


two of the most like photos from that competition. yeah. i can be that happy.

this and that. emotions all over the place. till now, sometimes it stills bothers me and i still tear up whenever i think back on the many memories. yes it still plays with my heartstrings. but i'm, i'm getting better.
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